Twas the night before Christmas and in the White House
Staffers conferring, same thoughts they espouse
Press releases posted to dot gov with care
In hopes they continue to stoke class warfare
POTUS was nestled all snug in his bed
While visions of tax increases grew in his head
Speech writers cranked out his next staged event
Something he’d read from a screen, faked intent
When out in the halls there arose such a clatter
He covered his head and decided no matter
His top aides and staff received frightening news
But decided it best if he could just snooze
Not being told would excuse his denial
“Yes,” said his staff and they started to smile
Make up a story to cover his tracks
Circle the wagons to fend off attacks
What was the news that had raised such concern?
Had missiles been fired to which we return?
Did Americans die, did Iran have a nuke?
No, just a call from Sandra Fluke.
Without a condom at a Christmas party
She wanted it now, delivered for free
“Damnit,” shouted an aide in shock!
“Haven’t we bought off the birth control bloc?”
The door was flung open, creating fear
There stood Obama, scratching his ear
“What is that noise disturbing my sleep?
It’s three A.M., can’t you call the veep?”
“Might as well work on my inaugural speech.
Politicize, pacify, pander and preach.
Then six rounds of golf or a Daily Brief?
I gets to choose, I’m Commander In Chief.”
“No matter the issue, to me it’s a game.
It’s Bush or the Right that are clearly to blame.
My agenda for term two is clear to me.
Conniving, campaigning for term number three.”