Monthly Archives: June 2012

Celebrity Burnout

Justin Bieber’s ( pronounced Bybur’s) rapid rise to youthful stardom will probably result in a sad end before his mid-twenties. I think there is enough anecdotal evidence to suggest that most child stars don’t live to endure successful adult lives – they may live, but not successfully. In Justin’s particular case I envision him spiraling into a pit of drugs and alcohol after he realizes his life of celebrity has become passe. By the age of twenty-five I imagine him high on crystal meth, police are called to deal with a public threat. He charges the cops naked, waving his penis with his hand, which being perceived as a weapon, draws eleven bullets from the officers guns. The most surprising element to all will be that he even had a penis.