Monthly Archives: April 2012

Movie Critique

Based on the praise of professional critics I tried watching a movie called ‘Meloncholia’ – a terrible piece of meandering “art film” that left me wanting to dig the arteries out of my wrists and neck with a weeding claw before the first half of the movie was over. No, wait, I think I’ll save the weeding claw for the professional critics. 

I mean, really….the sisters didn’t look a bit like sisters.


If I Ruled The World…..

….That guy in the truck that was driving well below the speed limit in the center of a two lane, one way street made me wish I was a law enforcement officer. After the tazing and then testing him for DUII followed by a dousing with pepper spray, I would handcuff him to the rear bumper of my squad car and fake a 911 call that would then dispatch me on a bogus high-speed chase.


Child Rearing Advice

So if your young kids ask why you bury their dead pets and relatives just tell them, “Why, little Timmy/Tammy, I’m planting them in order to grow you a new one.”